2 sure ways to boost self-esteem
In my work with others, I often see people struggling with low self-esteem. We all do from time to time! It's not uncommon - in fact, it's very common.
The more we know about healthy self-esteem and taking care of ourselves, the less likely we are to suffer from mental health concerns.
I believe that we, as a society, would benefit if we started learning early on about healthy self-esteem - just like we learn about the basic subjects in school. The current focus is on cognitive intelligence (IQ) and I believe that the development of emotional intelligence is equally as important. This is the recipe for a well-rounded person.
Healthy self-esteem means accepting yourself just as you are. You and I are by no means perfect - you and I are human with some flaws but there is much more to us than those flaws. Self-esteem means acknowledging your strengths and your uniqueness and your imperfections without judgment.
Here is what you can do when you realize your self-esteem isn't what you want it to be:
#1 Start by identifying your top 3 personal values - what is important to you? Check out this list of values here
#2 Begin making decisions based on your personal values - it will not steer you wrong. Trust me! Using your top 3 values - let's say they're honesty, making a difference, and creativity - try making a decision. Let's say the decision is: Should I stay in my job?
Ask yourself:
Is my honesty valued in my job? Am I happy in my job? - be honest
Am I making a difference in my job?
Am I using my creativity in my job?
You will have more clarity on a decision that is in line with your personal values.
Try to steer away from making decisions based solely on external values like wealth, achievements, accomplishments or recognition.
I have seen plenty of people who have wealth or recognition but they feel empty. Or they're solely focused on achieving and accomplishing and they're highly anxious because they're trying to live up to someone else's expectations or their own misguided expectations of what equals happiness.
These external factors typically do not lead to genuine self-esteem. Instead, they make you feel better for a brief period of time. When you rely on these external factors, it puts you at risk. Sometimes these things are there and sometimes they are not. So your self-esteem can fluctuate depending on how much money is coming in or how many compliments you get. These things are nice, but I see them as the icing on the cake. It's nice to have them, but they don't determine your worth.
You already have worth!
Genuine self-esteem comes from what you generate from within. Those are any one of those things on your personal values list - and there are a lot of them - and they can be cultivated within you.
So for the example above, when you're honesty is valued and you are honest with yourself, and are making a difference, and using your creativity in some way, this contributes to having healthy self-esteem.
You are living life on purpose!
You can depend on yourself to make the best decision for yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else. And if you feel you don't really know who you are, you can learn more about yourself now by identifying your personal values and going from there...
I just gave you 2 tips on boosting your self-esteem. Tell me what stood out for you and why in the comments section below.
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Hi! I'm Beth Matthews. I'm a Registered Psychologist who is driven to helping people feel better about themselves. I help people who are struggling in their lives gain an awareness of how they can cope with anything that comes their way. With my easy-to-use strategies, you can feel better and be your best you!
matthews77@shaw.ca
780-721-9157
thepsychologysite.org
