2 things to let go of this year
I’m going to be transparent here! I’m human and it takes work to maintain an optimistic attitude and generate positive energy from within. This form of self-care is critical, especially for a highly sensitive introvert.
It’s a daily work in progress…a lifestyle I've adapted just like exercising and eating well. It’s a way of being that I must work on consistently so I am creating that positive energy. Without this daily self-care, it’s easy to take on and internalize negativity and unconstructive thoughts.
This is true of anyone!
But, I could not imagine living any other way. The effort put into generating an optimistic mindset and positive energy is an opportunity for me to live a better quality life. I wouldn't change it for the world. I am grateful to be on this path.
So let's consider letting go of what isn’t serving us and what we need to let go of to be able to feel optimistic. P.S. You may have to let go over and over again...
I invite you to join me in letting go of 2 things:
When we focus mainly on negative thoughts, it’s easy to get stuck in that place. That’s all we can see and feel. For some, it’s easy to point out the negative things in ourselves, others, the world. It’s a bad habit. Life throws us harsh things – illness, loss, financial concerns, hurt, conflict.
Some people get knocked down and learn how to pick themselves up with time. Others stay down and don’t get back up. Some feel like a victim, others are survivors, and some even move on to become thrivers - despite their life circumstances.
“If you’re going through hell, keep moving.” Danielle LaPorte (and Winston Churchill)
I love this quote! Danielle LaPorte is a motivational speaker and writer and she is referring to her own most challenging year in 2018. She discovered, “You can get a great makeover in hell.”
Even though it doesn’t seem like it at the time, it can be a transformational process one is going through. To keep moving and to transform, we must first learn new ways of perceiving things, new things about ourselves...then we can gradually begin to move forward. We can’t free ourselves if we hang on to the negative thoughts or live in the past.
So keep moving, don't stop. Then you're less likely to get stuck.
How to let go: turn the channel in your mind and shift your way of thinking to self-compassion. When you notice you're being self-critical, ask yourself: What would I say to someone else who is going through exactly what I am right now? It’s easy when you think of someone you care about. Your compassionate voice will come out right away. Now, say the same thing to yourself. That’s self-compassion. It wipes away the negativity instantly and offers up support and acceptance which is needed the most, especially when you're going thru "hell."
2. Trying to be perfect
This is a no win situation. Perfection doesn’t exist. Making mistakes is a part of the learning process. It’s expected and it’s okay. I’ve said it before – perfection is boring! When we stop trying to impress others, we become our true selves. When we stop comparing ourselves to others, we can begin to accept and love ourselves just as we are.
“Don’t compare your real life to a filtered one.” Danielle LaPorte
How to let go: let go of the idea that your worth is
determined by your achievements and accomplishments. Also, let go of comparing yourself to those filtered social media posts. Remind yourself that your worth is a given. You were born, so you have worth. End of story.
Be willing to accept that you are worthy no matter what you have accomplished. When people are near death they often say the two most important things to them have been learning how to love others and growing in wisdom. We can measure ourselves against these standards rather than society's definition of what makes a person "valuable."
Do you treat yourself the way you want to be treated?
So you can see, it’s a work in progress. For us all, including myself. We all get off the path sometimes, but if we look back and see what we were doing when we were on the right path, then we know what we can do again to return there. If you feel you haven't been on the right path, now you have a map to guide you there.
What if the only resolution you made this year was to be more compassionate with yourself?
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Here’s to the New Year – living on the path of self-compassion and knowing your worth.
Beth Matthews is a Registered Psychologist who is driven to help people feel better about themselves. She can help you if you are struggling in your life. You can learn easy-to-use strategies to help you cope with anything that comes your way.